Neutral on gay adoption?

Possible changes to aspects and elements of our NZ adoption law(s) re same sex couples adopting children look a bit complex for me to restate here, so I refer you to this NZ Herald article which tells us of two strands of reform coming our way.

I wonder if Christians should be neutral re proposed changes to the relevant laws for two reasons. One, as noted in the article, is that 'gay adoption' is already with us. Secondly, one can conceive of situations where one might not want to prohibit such adoptions, even if one was not in favour of them in principle. One example would be Fred and Mary have three children, marriage breaks up when Fred 'comes out' and enters a relationship with Steve, then Mary dies, and Fred falls ill, so Fred and Steve want Steve to adopt the children so if Fred dies, there is clarity about the continuing parenting. I am sure you can think of other possibilities in the complex array of human life.

What Christians need not be neutral about is the principle that every child should have as a primary possibility in life that they have two parents, one a mother and the other a father. Somewhere in the argumentation for change to the law we have an earnest entreaty that two parents of the same gender are as good as two parents of opposite genders, with the back up argument, citing a recent headline, of how dangerous a mum and a dad are for some abused children. That there are bad parents in reality is not, of course, an argument for or against any particular kind of parenting being favoured. Bad parenting arises out of a number of factors, none of which any group of parents can entirely escape. Say poverty is one of those factors (as it seems to be here in NZ). Whether we want to group parents into categories such as 'Maori' or 'Pakeha' or 'Polynesian' ... or 'gay', poverty affects all such groups. Anger management? I know of no group in society that is free of problems with anger. So let's talk principle and not undermine it with statistics.

When we read our Bibles, especially those first chapters in Genesis which are rich in treasures of wisdom and knowledge about God's purposes for our lives, we are inescapably impressed with the fertility of man and woman coming together as one flesh for the pro-generation of life. In this leaving and cleaving permanent relationship lies the origins of man and woman becoming father and mother, as well as the distinctions between men and women being cherished and celebrated. In parenting a father and a mother can 'parent' equally well (in modern terms, each can support their children on the sports field, ensure they are well fed, sent to school, and brought up with good manners and a sense of civic responsibility, all in a supportive and loving environment called 'home'). But only to a certain degree. A mother can never be 'father' to her children, and a father can never be 'mother' to his children. The lack of a father or a mother in someone's life is tragic and the tragedy is not averted by providing two parents of the same gender, no matter how wonderful those parents may be at aspects of parenting that can be done well irrespective of the gender of the parents. I suggest that we do not need to be neutral on the principle that every child should have a mother and a father as a primary possibility in life.

SIDETRACK: If this article is an accurate report of one Christian family's weekend, then two parents and one child must have had some very interesting conversations in the last few days!